“Make time for yourself” is easy advice to give a carer.

Finding that time between appointments, medication, work, paperwork and somebody asking where their other shoe is can be rather more difficult.

Wellbeing support for carers is not about creating another list of things to do perfectly. It is about recognising that your needs matter too.

Why carers put themselves last?

Many carers are focused on keeping someone else safe, supported and comfortable.

Rest can feel selfish. Asking for help may feel uncomfortable. Even when time appears, carers can be too tired to decide what to do with it.

That does not mean you are failing at self-care. It may mean the demands placed on you are considerable.

Wellbeing support for carers can begin very small

Helpful steps do not have to involve an expensive retreat or an entirely free weekend.

They might include:

• Sitting somewhere quiet for five minutes.
• Stepping outside for fresh air.
• Sending an honest message to someone you trust.
• Returning to music, reading or another part of yourself.
• Accepting practical help without apologising.
• Joining a group where you do not need to explain everything.

These actions cannot solve inadequate support or remove caring responsibilities. They may, however, create small moments in which you are acknowledged as a person, not only as a carer.

Connection without judgement

Speaking with people who understand can reduce the pressure to put on a brave face.

Our planned carers’ wellbeing activities will aim to create relaxed opportunities for rest and connection, subject to funding and partnerships. The emphasis will not be on teaching carers how to cope better with impossible demands. It will be on creating space where their wellbeing receives attention too.

The NHS information for carers explains available support, including carers’ assessments and help with taking breaks.

Our Carers Connect group also offers a place to connect with others and continue the conversation.

You spend a great deal of time caring about someone else. It is reasonable and necessary for someone to care about you, too.

This group is hosted in The Zen Rooms’ free online community. You’ll need to sign in or create a free account to join.